Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
