you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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