i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Duck Duck Cougar?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
