and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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