He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
