You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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