I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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