a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
