Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
