I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
nutella sex= disaster
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
