Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize