She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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