Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
After tacos, we're chasing women.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
