her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize