like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
