This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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