i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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