I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
