How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
