I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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