my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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