We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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