How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
