no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Let's get the cat blown out
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
