brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize