Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
