Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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