I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
