i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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