I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
