i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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