New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
