I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize