I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
