I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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