We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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