ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
