is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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