this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
