Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize