and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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