You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
