even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
