you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
