I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
