Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
