About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
