She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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