..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
