Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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