I wish I could punch you in the face.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
