Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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