Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
