I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Farmville is her only friend.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
