could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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