We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
