...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is Oprah even human
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
