I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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