everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
